if only...

agnes

2007-06-10T02:07:00.000-07:00

yes...as u can see on the left.
she's makin a wish..and yes a bdae wish.
and i think i can really read her mind; whats she wishing for.
a simply purrrfect girl. :)
happyburfdaygal :D
stay cute n puny.

Jun xian(the stupid but gentleman), choon ming(the lame but smart 1),
George(agnes's bro), Agnes(burfday gal)

yummlicious hazelnut creme' cake.
didnt get to eat it though.
fault goes to steamboat. :(

hadtonsfunwithjustthethreeofus.espwithmeard.bahh!
askthemwhetherirocktheirnite.andnoticewadstheirans.:)
withfrownsandsarcasmlingering...hurhur. :)
atleastimadethemlaughbigtime!
wantedtoheaddownindochine;insteadwentovertostarbucksforfrapmocha
sharedamongstus.sweets.:)
latenightoutta'ssimplygreat.
night'salwaysyoungtous;yetoldtoparents.
backhommme;tobenaggedat.

end;
superbday!

updates on xmas.

2007-01-17T06:05:00.000-08:00

i noe its pretty much a century since i last updated my blog. yesh yesh cobwebs n all! lol.

let me begin frm xmas day!
well, it was rather a tiring day i admit. met him up after going out with my girlfren.pretty shagged.BUT BUT , i was rather stunned i can say when i opened up his gift for me. well , i long wanted a cardigan. and surprisingly, he gt one frm me and its frm ESPRIT. lol $99.90~ will take gd care of it i promise bf. together with abox of yummylicious chocs CUM a few stalks of flowers made of tissues?! , which formed a tiny bouquet. so sweet of him. thanks!

we had a dinner at city link, couldnt rmb the restaurants' name, which i made a correct guess b4 we gt there.
he always loses with me arnd. can wait to take a peep at his pissed off look! jesus me!:X
yup, had cheesecake while chatting at TCC. couldnt imagine an aged couple having so much craps bet them still~ simply incredible. we can luff and teased abt the ultimate tiniest matter ard us. much on the mean side. wahaha...*evil.

yup, thats pretty much the main thgs. oh ya oh ya, and we ended with a nice smooch b4 i pressed my door bell, *DING DONG =p

-miss LEO

2006-11-23T03:51:00.000-08:00

TOaddon...

WEHADTONSANDTONSOFFUN.WISHTHISMOMENTCOULDSTAYPUT.
nomatterhowreluctantheistotakepicswithme,icanseehestoleratingrealloads!lol.

//smooch//

2006-11-19T03:42:00.000-08:00

iheartyou, MRLEE. <3
our DAY out at ECP cycling.
lol
oh , to add , look at his hair.
isnt it neater than before? i bet so...
all thanks to me !
to honey's MUM: you owe me a treat dont u? =X kidding`
we cycled far till the jetty where we took a short break`
he gave a big bear's hug while we chatted over our FUTURE
well, its nv early to tok abt FUTURE.
blink, n off u go MARRIED.
sun scorching real high n bright.
and US red as a lobster as usual. :)
how great n refreshing it is to get burnt and perspire.
a peck on his cheek at the jetty, reason being for the precious time he spent with me.
IHEARThim,thats all.

TAKECAREwhileatwork... :)

fur-RYYYYY

2006-11-16T21:38:00.000-08:00

oh yes, im finally free frm MUGGING!!..
man, kinda sick and tired that tremendous day cum nite muggin.
well, feel like touching on hw i might fare for my tests.
haha
let me tell u , and u shall cry for me.
oh no, guess wad, my IT paper. was really a bad xperience for me indeed.
i didnt noe it will turn out to be like this.
hmm... is like i noe i could get the o/p of the programming easily! but i cant help myself either.
hey guys i mentioned so much but i doubt u guys get wad i meant though. lol.
alrite, shortly i meant if i had gotten that particular table which is linked to the other qns , i would nt be feeling hw im feeling rite nw!
well, econs was aso quite a killer paper. its tricky!
stats,ecm nt that bad afterall.
accs er haha , values all in a mess, i wonder hw teacher's gona search for my ans.
DOINKS.
=p
*messy

oh HU-RAY.
im free BUT BUT BUT nobody to date me out.
hw sad can i be.

i love this quotation :" ya, they actually made u stuff ur right hand into ur pocket and swear with ur left!"

haha...and to nana , K -ing soon, dun cares!!! Muacks =D

temper temper go away...

2006-10-28T03:29:00.001-07:00

recently been rather harsh on my HIM.
useless me, have been receiving his "giving in".
i shouldnt be like this, mood swing kills!!!!
HE changed tremendously i can observe.
i can see hes trying a lot alot to be more and mroe attentive to his gf which is me currently.
LOL.
still rmb on thurs he even cooked noodles for me, erm, can say its his own creation!
haha...LEMON NOODLES? nice nice......THOUGHT from him.
THANKSbf!
lovin u ... meeting u in another 30 mins times.
HEARTyou. :)

temper temper go away...

2006-10-28T03:29:00.000-07:00

pics Taken at CHINESE GARDEN cum ZOO :)

2006-10-17T05:19:00.000-07:00

2006-10-15T07:20:00.000-07:00

oh yea!!!!
back to square 2.
we r more n more so called lying on a BED OF LAUGHTERS once again. =B
its nt somethg that pple might get envy of though. but , im envy-ing myself. =D
lalalala.

well, everythgs over rite nw!!
phew!
guess ive been spending too much time on pondering on the LOVE stuffs!
time to spend more time on my studies i guess.
having a STATS practical test CUMING tues.
wish myself luck!

oh ya, thinking back , thanks again for the day outing out to ZOO which i had wanted to visit since last mth. woohoo!
guess ive brought HIM tons and tons of laughters that day!
still rmbed i caught him startled, the startled look on his face was damn mesmerizing and natural. i can say that its the very first time ive seen him react this way from the 2 years plus being together. HEHE.
well, hope i didnt really scared u out of ur wits ya my dear.
stay warm with my great LOVABLE huggy.
seeing u soon... =D

MUACKShugsMUACKShugsMUACKShugsMUACKShugsMUACKShugsMUACKShugsMUACKShugsMUACKShugsMUACKS.

- jasHEARTSjiannan

Fixing a broken heart.

2006-10-12T07:43:00.000-07:00

Ask myself?
i kept pondering the whole day , feelin so so dead dwn depressed in sch.
do u noe wad i wanted only frm u ?
i jus wana noe hw u r feeling in ur heart, cos i care alot alot .
be it happy , sad , or ...
i jus wana noe, wana be by u to share ur troubles and happiness if u wan me to.
thats wad i shuld do as ur gf.

i tot i would be left crying at outram station, but i told myself nt to , i kept back my tears. noeing that he wont like me doing that.
while i was squashing , i was thinking whether to drop him a msg , like say "jia you" or sumthg to motivate him. in the end, i didnt, i told myself that i shuld give him time to cool himself dwn. and yesh i did.
after squashing, i gt to find out that hes nt feeling that well and that hes pretty tired. could be frm stress frm sch and work . hw i wish i knew that earlier. so that i will noe wad to do and accomodate by his feelings and moods. i felt such a failure today at outram station. my palms were pretty much freezing and i was anticipating , anticipating for wrds cuming out frm his mouth . anticipating for him to grab onto my palms and reconcile well again.
upon reaching dover, we were like miles apart. one back and one front. didnt dared to approach him then. didnt wana add oil to fire. i jus noe deeply in my heart that hes very tired thats all. and yes, jian nan, lets concentrate more on studies and jia you together.
theres sumthg that i wish for from u , pls pls do let me noe,if ur feeling dwn sum day , try ur best to share with me. if u realli cant, its okie. but do share with ur frens or family . dun keep everythg to urself.
cos i really care .
take care lots.
-jiayou, -jas

FEST.

2006-10-07T06:45:00.000-07:00

back to update peeps...! :)

hm, things are going on pretty well recently.
ytd nite after lessons, met HIM at dover, went to Boon Lay for dinner at BentoBox and next our ultimate desti, the CHEENA GARDEN! =D
lol!
bought ticks and went in, climbed up the 7 storey pagoda. OMG! 1 level up and we both are already so lethargic...so funny can!...but we still managed to reach the peak though. Took several pics while being at the peak. lovely fotos to be updated soon. =D
yea, was wearing a knitted brown long sleeved top. damn dumb of me! wrong top for the wrong trip. haha...went loo to change out into a spaghetti next... phew, feeling much cooler. we both bought ice cream each and gobble it up in a min. oh , that was me . in fact i ate faster than he does. lol! fatt-ish me. =(
next, we passed by a few food stalls again..hahA...food food food! guess wad. the bee hoon there cost us 3 bucks per plate...haha....<3>
well, next we went on further. oh yea i forgt to mention the theme of the festival.
its sumhw named "seven world of wonders" ? if im nt wrong...lol!
well, we saw the rainbow bridge which is the so called "great wall of China" . we also saw the Eiffel tower, and others which i yet to noe the names of them. lols!
well, didnt do much stuffs over there,but the ambience and atmos was great there whenever im with HIM. =)

im very contented for wad im nw.
jus me . him . and our studies.
oh yea, promised him to study hard.
Gambatte !
=D
Leo, pls give me a push along the way alrite, vice versa.

MUACKShim.
=D

-Take care ya.

i feel more bonded with HIM

2006-09-30T08:13:00.000-07:00

aloha everyone!!
past few blogs were a disaster!!
and now, time for sweet blogs between me and HIM ( Jian nan)...

well, FINALLY we got back together officially, after running in circles with time, we came together again.
his strong gigantic but smooth palm together with my tiny palm, we went to Sentosa today in the morning.
was decidin whether to really get to Sentosa when we were already at HARBOURFRONT. lols!

and yea, we went and reached. it was fine cloudy weather and we still carried certain hopes of the sun emerging out soon...but sadly, it rained .
Well, we bought a mat there. Next, went for a dip in the sea, wahaha...so damn freezing cold. my god, my dear didnt even dared to submerged himself into the waters, while im already soaking in it. haha! *WEAK!!!
=p
Soon, it began to drizzzzzle...=(
went to a lovely shelter ...lay our mat again.

raining though,
however,
cuddling , squeezing with each other while staying cosy and walking in the rain were jus those perfect happiness ive always yearned for. And me showering u with my warmth then, wrapping u up with a towel.
Just my duty to take great care of HIM. :)
Well, at least he protected me from the cold.
-ILOVEyouuuuuu....thanks my dear.

took some time to wash up ourselves and had our lunch at NOODLE HUT at Harbourfront Centre. sadly , for us , we were like erm quite sad as we were nearin the train. whereby we'll be going on our separate ways. HIM to work, and ME to granny's hse. :(
BUT
one thg!
i guess in our hearts, we were both glad that we greatly enjoyed ourselves for that few long hrs together at least. :P
in the train, he told me :" do you feel that its the BREAKUP that made us more bonded?"

to that, YES!
ii agree...:)
all thanks to u , giving me the chance to LOVE u more than b4 and to shower all my warmth to u .
not forgetting wad HE always told me, STUDY HARD!!!
i will, for u and for my future, hey wait! i meant OUR future.

missing u rite nw...:)
-gambatteMRlee, myLOVE.

=)

2006-09-27T05:38:00.003-07:00

waiting for us to stabilize?
time
time
and
time
again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ4nqqj2hIM

watch this hokkien thingy to cheer u guys up...
enjoy~ =)

=)

2006-09-27T05:38:00.002-07:00

waiting for us to stabilize?
time
time
and
time
again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ4nqqj2hIM

watch this hokkien thingy to cheer u guys up...
enjoy~ =)

=)

2006-09-27T05:38:00.001-07:00

waiting for us to stabilize?
time
time
and
time
again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ4nqqj2hIM

watch this hokkien thingy to cheer u guys up...
enjoy~ =)

...

2006-09-27T05:38:00.000-07:00

waiting for us to stabilize?
time
time
and
time
again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ4nqqj2hIM

watch this hokkien thingy to cheer u guys up...
enjoy~ =)

trust...

2006-09-26T09:19:00.000-07:00

jus to tell u,
i dun mind being doubted by my wrds.
i know hw u r feeling in u, somesort insecure.
i promise u , seriously serious , promise u that i will be true and honest to u .
i noe u jus want the truth. and yesh, i learnt it , and i will do jus that.
feel freee to ask more if u feel like asking...=)

love the nite today, during trning , i was thinking abt hw happy will it be when i meet u for dinner later...
thanks for showing up and accompanying me. i really wish , seriously serious to take good care of u .
jus wana be true to u from tonite onwards....this i really promise u ...i mean it...

-iloveu , nights. =D

smiling now...

2006-09-24T22:27:00.000-07:00

oh yea!!!!
a great day for me today!!...
ooo, saw him in sch's food court 4, omg!..so well renovated. looks kinda classy but smelly with the newly painted odour ..
yea, saw him , motivation came! together with the "Jia You" msg he sent me at 10 plus in the morning!....
thanks alot...=)
there he was , bubbly ever, joking ard with his frens jus like me...
well, u gave me hope... thanks~

if u were to read this, jus to ask u
whether i can have the honour to treat u to a meal at sakae sushi say this week when u r free at night or maybe after the 31st.
no motives for that, dun worry.
slowly and slowly....and soon~
=D

-LOVINGyou,jas. :)

a great start for a great morning...

2006-09-24T16:56:00.001-07:00

thanks for trying ur very best to allow us to be see things slowly at least.
really thanks.:)

hai, wad can i say nw?
im just so satisfied!
i may nt know the ending eventually,
but,
i will definitely definitely put my ultimate effort into it.
trust me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thanks again for allowing me to bake the next nicer cookies for u and you FAMILY.
love them loads!!!! =D
my cookies, my miracles.

i will jia you myself.for U and MY sake.
-go goJIAYOU!!!!

-missingHIM

a great start for a great morning...

2006-09-24T16:56:00.000-07:00

da ying wo ni hui bi wo geng xing fu

2006-09-24T07:45:00.001-07:00

hi everyone, im back to square 1 , tmr's sch!!
quite delighted?
well, this sem's thurs no sch!!!!....
sun, here i cum!, wait for me.
miss sun tanning a lot..esp with jian nan.
hes sumone like me , cant stop tanning.
gosh , i m so fair nw.
some say i look better tanned while some the other wise.

to jian nan:
find one day lets go tan out together, preferable at hougang complex.
and ya, to tell u this. and yesh , i tot it thru jus nw, and yesh, though i will be waiting for u , hmm..but to tell u , i wont force things out of u anymore.
thx for ur this msg this morning. it woked me up with a smile.

tell u , last nite i had a funny gu dai dream.
story goes like, i was at a gu dai scene with a grp of my frens, wasnt really sure who are they though. we were like fighting like those wu xia. then my frens in danger asked me to shout for a name :"zhang guo lao!" then i jus stood there like a fool shouting :" zhang guo lao!" WHEN actually i should hav shouted for "tu di gong!" .
LOL.
*smile pls

k la, take care , and enjoy ur schooling frm tmr onwards...
great days ahead....=)
nights, sweet dreams.

-jas, loving u-

2006-09-24T07:45:00.000-07:00

if....

2006-09-23T04:52:00.000-07:00

if theres this one day when u think that u r willing to give me a chance , and i mean if, pls let me noe wherever im , i m waiting, always waiting, till tonite at least.

if only

2006-09-23T04:20:00.000-07:00

if only i can turn back time,
i wan to be the one there for u ,
giving u a warm massage after ur hard day work ,
a hug and a kiss before u go to bed and stuffs.
love ur smile.

hope u r reading this,
i realy really really hope for that miracle to happen ,
one day i hope, even a few years dwn,
wana do sumthg tonite, duno hw i should do it.
leave me alone.

take care everyone yea.
always watching over u guys.
MUACKS
and ILOVEyoualotalot.
and i reallyMISSyoualotalot.

bye!

2006-09-22T14:04:00.000-07:00

BYE! =(

BYE, JAS

2006-09-22T13:29:00.000-07:00

im bearing the consequences.
u noe sumthg , i really really hope to be with u again. i really wish , i jus wana amend our relationship. i noe ive no right. but thats jus wad i wan rite nw and so on. but i noe theres a part of my foolish thinking. i m trying to be +ve nw. as said, (aim for the moon, so that when u fall, u "ll fall on the stars.) ive to move on i told myself. he told me to move on.
its like wad zhen jie said, life is fragile. u might nt noe whether i might be alive to blog in nt. so tonite, wadeva i type here is truely frm the bottom of my heart.
if i were to perish tmr, at least, i still have this one last blog. givin my grandma wad i could do the least for her. her mooncakes frm shangrila hotel. even if i were to perish , at least, thats the least i could do for her. since shes so beloved to me. took great care and showering me loads of love when i was a toddler. thanks grandma! =)
and grandpa, thanks for being there too, though i may appear to be nt that close tou , but deep in my heart, u stand the same spot as hw i placed u for grandma. love u too, trust me. jus wana let u and grandma noe that i really love u alot. mus really take care of yourself alrite. muacks.
-bye, jas:)

and to him, i cant say much, thanks for the moments we spent together. i really seriously had real loads fun when im with u , food , movie , shopping, arcade-ing, and loads. i still rmb on valentines day , we played the basketball tingy together, cum to think of it, it was really sweet. thanks again. =) aso thanks for tolerating my temper, me being so materialistic, noisy. however , i cant admit im quite sweet at times to u . (u smiled?) really hope to see u smile one last time before i .....nvm. if u really think that u r happy with wad u r nw, rmb to jia you. i will be watching over u somehw sumwhere. so im nt here, do take great care of yourself.
-cai hong tian tang. ((thats wad we used to lived in))
and nw im heading to another tian tang different from urs. u need nt noe where it is, and u might nt even want to noe. i noe myself. i want to wish u well. study hard.
hope u love the cookies.
rmb wad i told u last night alrite, i really do mean it alot. if only u belief...but nvm le, i promise u i will be waiting for u in another tian tang.
one last thing, ILOVEYOUjianNan and ur family.
-bye, jas :)

to my family and frens, thanks for being there for me when i need u all. love the times we had together. perhaps, wad i can jus say is a wrd -thanks- . i noe ive done nth great in my life. and nw im doing this...christine sim yi shen~, i really love u alot sista~. thanks for spending my bdae with me that nite. take great care, and i wish u well in ur future endeavours. (muacks)
-bye, jas :)

BYE everyone.

LWU~

2006-09-21T08:02:00.000-07:00

you're beautiful, you're beautiful,its true.
im so lost without u.
while baking the cookies, i tot.
who is the one that made me have the interest in baking e cookies for.
well, YOUyouyou. (**** ***)
doubt u r reading this though.
=(

feelin rather confused again, lesser though.
told myself to take things slowly.
duno hw he feels, heard his voice, sounded normal, which im saddened. i tot he shuld have felt somesort sad. hais... *sad

hope hope hope to be the one with him...
pls, give me a chance again.
WILLyou?
your every msges and call matters.
but sad to say , ive gt none.

take care during your work yea,
if u were to receive the cookies specially for u , ENJOYit.
this time rnd, ive gt a little help frm YATI i dun deny.
but
slightly lesser than previous.
=)
rmb to share with ur family this time rnd, more opinions coming up .

[IMISSyoudarnLOTS]
:)

2006-09-21T02:49:00.000-07:00

today went lena's hse to b ake cookies...
hm?
cookies for my beloved ones...=)
for u to noe, for me to find out...

yeap,it was tough though...took so much pains to whip up the flour and butter and stuffs...LOL!
yea, but worth it if its for my beloved.

took out a tray, accidentally scalded my little finger...*ouch
clumpsy me...
but once again, its worth it, provided the beloved appreciates it...

oooo, take things slowly at a time i guess.

-There are a thousand reasons why i should give up, but im stumbled in the things i believe. =(

nites....

waiting?

2006-09-20T07:39:00.000-07:00

phew, last night slept at 6am plus. *insomnia.
shit it!
woke up early in the morning to register my GEMS.
chosen Mathematical games and puzzles. LOL!

yep, early noon met up with zhen jie for squashing.
while playing, i felt so freakingly itching all over me. reason mus be the BODY soap im using!..dots...bathed in sch after trning!...freaking lethargic, not enuff sleep. =(

after trning, went with lina(junior) and zhen jie to marina for breakfast cum lunch cum dinner= LONG JOHN SILVER!

shopping ard, bought a Dorothy Perkins belt. unique and beautiful. all the clothes that i fancied came out to be of such a gigantic size ...!!!! ahhhh!...*frustrated! everythgs gettin bad for me this mth esp.
=(
after shopping,me and zhen jie ate a GELARE ice cream !!... i had Jamaican choc , while she has swiss choc caramel. yummy*, well, can destresssssss with sweet stuffs.=)

after that , i requested zhen jie to acc me to capitol to take a peep whether leo's wrking at the CAPITOL outlet today. -sad to say, he wasnt. tot of buying some buns for him , for fear that he hasnt eaten much. but he wasnt there!... well, wana take a short glance and i ve to do it so secretly. man!... well, i suck!

=(

gotta go lena's hse to bake cookies tmr i suppose!...making for my beloved ones..those whom will appreciate at least. i take pains alrite.

-nights...LOVEyouall.

2006-09-20T06:45:00.000-07:00

im still lovin and missing u ....
im still waiting...
im not leaving...
somehow, somewhere, i will jus be watching over u.
nights...
=)

My last bloggin..

2006-09-19T13:02:00.000-07:00

I jus wana tell everyone....
yes, i am moving on...frm tonite onwards...3.57am...
im SINGLE. and im going to love it.
i hope i can though i doubt i cant.
Jus leave me alone.
wana be alone.
heaven sounds tempting.
bye.

screwed up...

2006-09-19T10:54:00.000-07:00

-----------------------------------------------------------------------MYrantings----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i feeling so empty and screwed up...

sumhow, im telling myself to FOLLOWmyheart.
follow my heart in the way that, i need nt hesitate much and jus follw what my heart tells me to do.
i hope i can. tons and tons of infatuation came gushing in at once, within a blink of time.
i hate that!...i feel so useless. i jus wana get over it and its either im SINGLE or ATTACHED.
somehow, heart tells me that i wana be SINGLE right nw.
but the next day , i might be the other way rnd and i will nv noe.
gosh!... im selfish...
=(

to be SINGLE, i feel so darn relaxed, hw i wish i could jus quickly get out of Spore, free from all these numbness im getting all over me , every nite esp. bring me bring me to AUS. quick quick.
but nt when im gona leave my frens outta there.
iMISSthem. =)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

oooo, yea, mooncake fest is nearing.
oh well, i personally LOVEmooncakes! AND i cant wait to gobble them up.
so everyone outta there, hide ur dear mooncakes away i ever drop by ur hse. :p
well, i still can crap at this pt of time. - shows im perfectly normal still(for the moment) lol!

today, met up with joseph my IMH ex colleague to pass him the time sheets. he was smart to look me up near my hse. his first time though.well, great sense of directionb oy. i acc him later to compass pt , where he had his dinner. omg, meatballs pasta!.. haha..baddie, trying to tempt me with that knowing that i haven had my dinner. he gave me a big box of chunky pocky (strawberry). taste funny leh jos. eeee mus be expired..wahaha!....anw, thanks for your tots........
and looking forward to my colleagues's gathering on cuming sat... u guys rocks big time.

oh yea, forgt to add on. My darling gal, christine!!! can see shes feeling rather stressed up recently ..trying to rush up her modelling and stuffs. deadline approaching ...
well, im praying for her, -jia yous gal..
* you can do it i beleaf, move on, work towards ur dream tht u told me b4.
jus rmb that , wadeva it is, rest well/early, and drink loads of water lest u fall sick.
drop me a call/msg if u r feeling empty or dwn, i will be there! i promiseYOUgal.
-MUACKSchristine. XP

-JAS (TIME: 2.09AM)

trying tryin n trying

2006-09-18T20:29:00.000-07:00

its a tues today!
trying my very best nt to msg/ call him.
=)
today, and finally he dropped me a msg.

(SMILEs.)

angel in disguise.

2006-09-18T07:30:00.000-07:00

Today went out with my cousin (shu jie) to marina sq to have my hair done at HeatWave. lols!
did colouring, treatment, and cut. at only 120 bucks!...=)
stylist was damn funny, asked me whether i had a bf and lots and lots of queries he had man!
oh yea..hes a Malaysian too!...i jus found out that this mth i gt to know many Malaysian guys. lols!
=)

was kinda a good day today!...talked to Zi Xuan over some stuffs...and found out some stuffs too...eh , confidential* ...Shhhhhhh =
he asked me y i trusted him to much , i was like erm , "nt sure!", and in fact he tot i was in love with him...lols...He tot too much le..=)
today im so glad, i have no thoughts while i was doing my hair and shopping ard..feeling rather free frm probs...after chatting with a particular person.
oh ya, forgt to update last nite. had a long but interesting chat with Joseph, my ex colleague. yea, was shocked COS he confessed his interest to me. =)
didnt noe wad to reply him on the fone then, i jus kept so quiet.
anw, jos, thanks for your bravery.
in the mean time, i need time. =)

take care everyone!!!!!
MuacksyouGUYS. =p

black magic!!

2006-09-17T12:11:00.000-07:00

Today, went to Kbox with lena and my sister.
was like getting high-er and high-er as we sang along!
i tot i will be free frm troubles while singing, but still thoughts came running.
but this time, it sumhow lessened.
am listening to colin raye's song-Love, me, kind of soothing for a late 3.09am nite.
thinking of HIM rite nw, wonder hw he is coping there.
hope his fine, though he might nt be thinking of me as much as i do to him or rather nt thinking of me at all.
jus wana pray that hes safe and sound there. s
been staying up rather late these few nites, used to it.
=)
finally while i was singing in the midst, he droppped me a call to tell me hes off to outfield already. i forgotten that it was me who told him that i hope to hear ur voice b4 he leaves.
saddened!...well, its nt him who initiates to call me. But, i m satisfied already, really.
i told myself times and times nt to think of him too much or put too much into me and him.
i will nv noe wad he really wants when hes back frm outfield. or rather , will he even bother to call me up when hes back. if he does , i will smile widely the whole day and onwards.
=)
i was pondering over many stuffs and so.kinda sians...while shopping after singing. i was so called under a "black magic"! while walking towards paragon, we saw this so called lousy "star" who approached me and my cousin. saying i was "xiao ding dang" . asked me to allow him to trim my brows. i was like stunned. and eventually i agreed though i had to pay 10 bucks for that. i asked him where will he be trimming my brows. he wanted to bring me to a secluded place behind paragon and b4 reaching, we had to walk thru an alley. MY COusin and sister stopped him but me? i was like dreaming and staring at my sister and cousing and the "star". the "star" kept on asking me only whether i want to nt. i still looked blur. but my sister was very persistent that i shouldnt..and in the end i was dragged away. thanks god!..if im alone, i would have been there.
phew!
was pondering wad am i doing man!...wad a not street-smart gal.hais....in actual fact, i was thinking over stuffs i tink, like hws he doing over there. and i didnt really pay much attention to wad the "star" was saying. doinks!
=(

yea, so after that we took a long stroll back home,while walking, bought a foundation frm TheBodyShop. yea. and later on our way to dhoby to take the train, nana and sister were chatting over the fone, and there i was alone walking. was like " a big sigh!" . here im all alone again. nt say im despo for guys, jus that hw i wished im like them, whereby i can tok to my loved ones then. so sad i cant at that pt of moment.
=(

hope u r doing well over at the forestry areas alrite.
and take care again!

-HUGSyou. :p
-JAS-

waiting...

2006-09-16T10:27:00.000-07:00

i will be waiting for u .....
waiting for u to be back from outfield.
waiting for u to be by my side.
waiting for u to shop around with me while we still can.
waiting for a chance to be the 1st to celebrate ur bdae with u.
waiting for u to taste my 2nd time round baked cookies when ur back frm outfield.
waiting for u to commit in us.
waiting for u to bake an oreo ice cream cheesecake together.
waiting for u ...always. =)

i asked myself,
am i doing what i really want?
my ans to it was definately a YES.
but y isit that sometimes what i want isnt rite in front of me?
i guess ive to fight for it myself.
to do that, the key thg is to WAIT, next is to WAIT, and lastly WAIT again.

kind of like weird when i cum to think of it.
for my ex bf, it was my part to love him even though he didnt felt anythg for me.
i didnt give up then, i waited and waited for say abt a year.
and finally ive gotten what ive wanted.

and so, thru this , i learnt to be slightly a little more determined .
and this time rnd, i have to do the same as before.

i asked my frens abt my situation, all of them almost , advised me not to wait.
but my intuition tells me the other way rnd, somehw i beleaf, we have a this tiny bit of future ahead of us.

-MISSyou

bad day

2006-09-16T09:16:00.000-07:00

today went out with my darlin cousin lena.
went shopping ard town.wanted to get a hair treatment and colour done.but its too late .
bought blusher and cheek brush.
wanted to buy a foundation , end up i realise card became faulty.

while shopping, many thoughts came running in my mind today.
disrupted my shopping mood. A BIG Haiz.....=(

ok , tonite i shall keep it short.
dan! tmr's outfield already. stay dirty and stinky there,..and do TAKE GREAT CARE..
have your proper meals, *familiar hur

and

i"ll wait for and LOVEyou. =)

hatred in me.

2006-09-15T12:14:00.000-07:00

Its 0308am in the morning and im still awake!!!
ahhhh..!!!!!!!!! iim getting screwed up!!!!
=(... jus felt like bursting out my tears.
BUT!!
i shouldnt, he's nt worth my tears, in fact no one is worth.
i wana learn to love myself, only then i could love then(dan). =(

anywae, i had enuff...
im always looking happy on the external side of me, acutally, does he noe that deep dwn me is hurting a lot alot alot. im so darn depressed.undescribed feelings.what did i do to get this as a result.
i love ur family, i love ur aunt and u .
but nt myself anymore, i hate myself! =(

nights.

let it be...

2006-09-15T11:06:00.000-07:00

sigh, lots of personal things happening around me lately.
kinda under depression.
i wasnt like this in the past.
Lord,tell me why!!!!!
im feeling F***ed up!!!!!!!!!

hmm....shall jus let it be, or rather leave it natuarally done.
be it good or bad, i guessed im prepared.
i really dont wana get myself HURT anymore.
i rmb once, when my ex initiated a break up, i numbed myself with alcohol late at night. Then, i felt nth, i cant even taste the bitterness of it. i really felt out of breath.
but this time rnd , i guess im old enuff to noe wad i shuld do
well, as usual the old saying, "i shall leave it to fate". =)

as for u , think thru your tots during your outfield, doesnt matter.AND take care! =)

LOVE,me.

2006-09-13T05:59:00.000-07:00

I quitted my job today!...feeling both glad and depressed. kinda attached to my colleagues there, kinda miss joking and luffing ard with them. Today, after a few of my colleagues were so called "fired" , the atmosphere in there was so depressed and dead. how sad....=( yea, we exchanged our numbers and emails to keep in contact though...
LOVEyouall.

i was rather pissed off wit h my ex boyfriend asking me so much qns ytd nite. Well, he told me he cant get to sleep , neither could i actually. i dont really noe why though.maybe having the same feelings as hw he felt. i duno hw he feels exactly in his heart. His nick tells me that hes struggling, i feel a little sour when i saw that. Y would i feel that way. Hais..

Dan's going onto outfield this sat for one week.
Hope he takes great care outside, he told me that he will be sleeping on grass among the forestry areas.LOL! and nt bathe for that week or stuff! OMG, but come to think of it , it doesnt really matter though, bathe or without bathe.hahahaha! hes gona kill me if he sees this.!!!
anw, TAKE CARE BOY!!! =)

memories

2006-09-11T09:21:00.000-07:00

nw time-12.17.
am waiting for his bdae msg to me.But to no avail, he fell aleep. hais, kinda disappointed though.
well, i kept telling myself.Yesh, hes lethargic. But....=(

My ex, dropped me a msg at 12.02am. The first to wish me tonight. Im really touched and im really glad. Well, but the one who should have given me the call/msg shuld be the other one. Hais...anw.overall, i had an enojoyable nite, disappointed though..
Hais...here i am so demanding again. =

Luckily my god jerome kor dropped me a call.Hee, hes really sweet can~ ThanksKOR,muacks. =D

Oh ya , had an enjoyable nite with my poly classmates just then. we dined at CA(Changing Appetites). Our first time there though. I ordered me-so-salmon. SALMON was nice.=) plus an Oreo Cheesecake. *SINFUL.

Well, upon reaching home, mummy gave me a red packet, elder sis gave me a pair of flip flops and a belt. I also heard my younger sis is gona give me a tiny and cute stuff.lol! cant wait.... anw, aGREATthanksTOeveryone. =)
muacks...

i FELT really on cloud nine.But...
i sumhow felt a little sad?lonely?
dunooooooO y the hell am i feeling this way!?
arghhhh...i shouldnt have.

my wish*

- A GREAT HEALTH TO MY FAMILY AND FRENS ESP MY GRANNY AND GRANDPA.
- JUS WANA BE SUMONE WHO LIVES THRU MY LIFE LUFFIN EACH DAY.
- I WAN MY EX BF ,lEO LEE TO BE HAPPY ALWAYS, I WISH HIM WELL, REALLY. =)
-I YEARN TO BE MORE MATURE AND INDEPENDENT.

iREALLYloveEVERYONEaroundME. =)
THANKSforGivingMEsuchwonderfulBDAEmemories, BESTever.

messy day

2006-09-10T05:54:00.000-07:00

Today was a pretty messy morning fer me.
i was supposed to meet up with zhen jie at dover in school fer a squash game at 1045am.
but at 1045 i jus woke up!!!!!....
i freaked out that moment, thinking of hw i could fly there immediately!!!
im so sorry gal... make it up to u soon with GELARE *choc overload ICE CREAM. lol!!
However, the courts cant be used too.

So , in the end, we decided to meet up for some shopping at city hall , marina.
We went into Z ara,grabbed wadeva came into our liking and dragged our lazy feets into the fitting room.
We compared here and there in vain. Ive gt a brown sexy spag top . Nice cutting, and fitting . COOL.

Walk walk walked....
here we r at dorothy perkins.
saw a so called wrist couch .
We both gt the same one- shiny silver and a white jade on top of it.
my sweety zhen jie bought me that too for my bdae.
love her loads and THANKS gal.
=)

We walked till Suntec, and along the way , we were always tempted by the cheesecakes and muffins etc. I tolerated and tolerated. wahahah!
I saw tons and tons of stuffs which i had a fancy for. Ohyea *evil grins, wait till my pay cums , and hahaha, a SHOPPINGspreeeeeeeee. =P
And zhen jie, say first, i gona treat u a sundae OR stuffs. =D

MUACKStozhenjie.=D

my 2nd bdae celeb nite

2006-09-10T05:35:00.000-07:00

love this nite too, its my 2nd bday celeb nite with HIM. He waited in the car for me dwnstairs. First thing when i entered the car, i saw a bouquet of a huge Sunflower just beside the gear. It was nicely wrapped up with a sky blue wrapper. Im loving it loads and im touched.
Thats just a minimal, the main thing is we are going for a nice jap teppan-yaki dinner at the hill top above Jurong Bird Park. The first time i went there, my impression of it was that the place was pretty romantic and amazing maybe partly due to then being at night time and the weather that nite. Breezy~
Well, what can i say , he was pretty sweet to me that nite though. wasnt used to it too. =p
in fact, he SHOULD be sweet to me that nite as its my night. haha!! He drove rnd and rnd Jurong and we took almost 1 hr to figure out how to get there. Hes rather temperamental though.=D
I told him that he cant be pissed off as once he starts to get pissed off, his sweetness frm him to me willl diminish. lols! =)
However, that night he was rather quite giving in though. Being nt that hesistant like before. Hope hes adding on more committment. That nite, i asked him lots of qns. Abt the tas trip and us. I love chatting with him actually. He brings in his mature way of thinking which i appreciate alot.=) Thanks for everything ya.
I felt closer and warm as each day passes for us.

hmm, *grabs his palms against mine, clenched together,closes my eyes,makes a wish. =x

oh yea, dont forget, no tots abt being a monk alrite!...hey hey...hw could u !
Overall, a perfect and romantic nite sealed with a gentle kiss.
Once again, THANKSforitdear. =D

- MISSINGyou.

my 1st bdae celeb nite

2006-09-10T04:57:00.000-07:00

My very first and honoured bdae nite was with my darling girl-friend, *christine

We met at city hall and went str to Raffles city, got a hangbag there frm MEL accessories. Was having a little sale, half was paid by my lovely young beloved sister as part of my bdae gift. =D

we had our dinner at "SAKAE SUSHI". gosh!!, we both gobble ourselves, almost 10 plates altogether.Not a lot to guys though , but to gals, its already that SINFUL!!! =(

Before our dinner, we made a reservation at "CAFE SWISS" in Raffles City for some desserts.The ambience was perfect for couples or some besty gathering. Dim though, but service was quite perfect till the waiter placed the dessert spoon a little violently on my table top. lols!!!...
Oh ya , we ordered a toblerone cheesecake(11 bucks) cum a home-made hazelnut choc ice-cream(5 bucks). Instead of cheesecake ,they made a mistake giving us a choc mouuse instead. We requested for a change though.Later, to our surprise, the manager came and apologised to us. We were like "Its ok" =)
AND i joked abt him when he went off.But i decided not to tell u guys abt it, lest im being verified as a MEAN one, though i am actually one. hahahaa.=D

The cheesecake esp was fantabulous!!!!! one wrd,"YUMMY"!!!...but sinful once again~ hais, i i wish i wont put on weight that easily. but too bad i will ,and im growing fatter each day.lols!

yea, that was the end of our date.
Muacks to christine. =D

the perfect DIVA

2006-09-06T22:49:00.000-07:00

ooooo, i feel like a PERFECT DIVA.
at wrk, soooooooooooo sleepy. i eat, i slack, i msn, i surf n everythg.

wana go have a nice and undisturbed tan, but no peeps.
usually go with my ex-boyfriend and agnes.
However, we are over. so, blah blah blah.
duno hws hes coping nw, hope we r still frens.
AND
moreever i feel like telling him that i will always put him in my heart and lend be his listening ear when he needs someone., though i doubt he will. but nvm, hope u r reading this. =)
Thanks fer ur NEW URBAN MALE sandals that u gve me earlier fer my bdae. thanks alot!=)
TKE CARE BOY AND Lucks in ur future endeavours.

frens forever*

my wish list

2006-09-05T19:28:00.000-07:00

My Wish List:

- brown Adidas jacket , running shorts and a cap
- a LEVIS jeans
- a tanned skin tone
- a beautiful and elegant tank top
- a pedicure/manicure session at Suntec
- a going to be PERFECT other half
- a handbag frm Aldo accessories
- a dinner with a kiss to seal it up *winks
- an ESPIRIT watch
- a hair makeover

thats all for the moment, will update it when half of them are fulfilled.

CLOUD 9

2006-09-05T00:22:00.000-07:00

ooo hooo!

im so satisfied with the way im nw!
awaiting for my bdae to arrive~
loads and loads of treats and gifts frm my besties and family.
lalalalala...`*on cloud 9

hope i can have a so called "perfect" celecbration ever.
esp with my gf*christine sim YI SHEN p.s: sis, ur FULL NAME. keke*
and he is aso goin to celebrate myy bdae with me in advance. ooo, what jap stuff..
man, cum to tink of it, im gona put on weight !!! *SINFUL~
=)

nvm, he loves FATTER gals *psssssst!

tata, jas :)

a sigh of relief

2006-09-04T05:08:00.000-07:00

finally everythg has cum to a good end.

i was asked whether i mind abt him nt being to committed into our relationship.
i tot of it , actually i didnt quite noe the ans too. i didnt noe that in a relationship, there can be little or more committment. sumhw mixed feelings. hmmm, maybe it means that no matter hw much i put into the relationship, i know myself that i cant expect sumthg similar in return if im nt wrong. =)
*messy gal =x

i hope im going along with my feelings. sumhw i felt as though im at a losing end.but since ive mae that decision, i shall go by it.coz thats wad i really wan i hope.

so
so
so
so
so
so
so....

wadeva it is, its all settled, i guess i mus change fer the better.instead of being so spoilt and demanding or whatsoever. i shall be the one to take good care of u . =)

tata!!

a lesson learnt

2006-09-03T19:11:00.000-07:00

if onli i could turn back time.

recently i gt very very close with sleepyhead(d*n). we were trying out. i recalled the those few days when he messages me i felt damn irritated and we were jus a hi-bye squash mate i can say. however, it was recently that i felt differently. i recalled the very ferst day when we met up fer a movie- nacho libre which definitely looks like him(lol), after the movie ended, we were on makin our way dwn the escalator. he was one step below me, he turned ard and we chatted facing each other. i suddenly felt sumthg, i was like:"oops!, wad am i thinkin !!!! er no no!!!! i shouldnt!". damn funny. together we admitted that we both felt chemistry bet us. there have been many incidents of us so called having the telepathy going on.

within these few weeks, i thoroughly enjoyed myself fully! jus love his laughters and smiles he brought to me, though most of the time i luffed for nth. *winks .

frankly speaking, i regretted wad i have done to him actually. i so called took his car fer granted but i actually didnt mean it. its like kinda regret. am actually waiting fer his decision. i HOPE it will be wad i hoped for.but the finale is still up to him. gona respect him and take very very real good care of him frm nw onwards. And seriously seriously hope that it will be a PERFECT night this cuming sat. maybe a PERFECT gift fer my bdae. argh, right nw , im feeling painful, partly cos im having a fever. oh ya , hes having a flu/block nose, *archew! , god bless u ! drink loads of water ya.

p.s: plz dun ponder too much over it alrites, go with ur feelings.
and well, i jus love u fer who u r.

nw, and after...=)
posted at work...